Stealth Bomber Budget Poem

Date in my archives: 1-Dec-89

Forwarded with subject: Stealth bomber budget poem
Newsgroup: rec.humor.funny

B-2, or not B-2: That is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the slings and arrows of outrageous expense,
Or to take arms against a sea of deficits,
And by opposing end them. To cut; to spend;
No more; and by a cut to say we end
the heartache and a thousand cost overruns
That B-2 is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To cut; to spend;
To spend? Perchance stretch-out! Ay, there's the rub;
For in those stretch-outs what new overruns may come,
When we have shuffled off deciding,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of delay.
For would stealth bear the whips and scorns of time,
The lack of mission, the untried technology,
The great expense, the inevitable delays,
The excessive secrecy, and the cuts
That must be made for Gramm-Rudman target's sake.
When we ourselves might today stealth's termination make
With a bare majority. Who would new tax burdens bear,
To pay its $70 billion price tag,
When the dread of a turkey worse than B-1,
A flying bat-winged bomber whose cost per pound,
Is that of gold, puzzles the mind
And makes us rather keep those bombers that we now have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience should make cautious legislators of us all;
And thus the hue of B-2 boosterism
Must be replaced with the sober cast of thought,
And this enterprise of great pith and moment,
Be halted now before it further proceeds,
A handsome bomber yes, but better
Not to be.

-- Statement by Rep. Edward J. Markey, D-MA, to the House of Representatives, against the B-2 stealth bomber, July 26.